


Why Wait For Tomorrow For Mistakes That We Could Make Tonight?

by Angel Ascending (angel_in_ink)



Series: Short and Sweet (Fics of About 1000 Words or Less) [19]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fjord's Carrying A Lot Of Guilt, Spoilers for Episode 40 of Campaign 2, not explicit, sex as a coping mechanism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-16 17:48:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16499924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angel_in_ink/pseuds/Angel%20Ascending
Summary: Fjord is tired, and he’s had some wine, and he almost died today and Avantika is looking at him intently and with no small amount of passion. He tells himself that he is playing a part, because he is, and that he’s only thinking about sleeping with her to gain more of her trust, which will ultimately benefit himself and the party, and that’s mostly the truth.When he leans in, when she kisses him, all tongue and teeth like she wants to devour him, Fjord sighs in relief. When she gets up from behind the desk and pushes him back onto the bed, something in his mind relaxes even as the rest of him tenses.





	Why Wait For Tomorrow For Mistakes That We Could Make Tonight?

Avantika looks at Fjord with the bright eyes of a zealot as she takes his hand. There are many ways to seal a pact, and Fjord could probably get away with a handshake and an excuse about how tired he is. It wouldn’t be a lie, because Fjord is tired down to his bones, exhausted enough that images swim dreamlike behind his eyes every time he blinks. He sees his friends, who wanted to help him discover himself, but never signed up for snake gods and pirates. He sees Jester, her eyes wide and shocked when he kissed her, gave her the last breath of air in his lungs. He had thought maybe it would be their last kiss, and maybe it wasn’t, but he’s almost sorry it was their first. He should have kissed her that night on the deck of The Mistake, with the moon shining above and the jellyfish shining below. Jester deserves better, she deserves all the best things, and why she has her heart apparently set on him he doesn’t understand.

Avantika though, Avantika he gets. She sees him as a key to be used in a lock, and he’ll be protected until she gets what she wants. He wonders if his friends will be afforded the same protections. They have proved themselves useful after all, and that’s what has them sleeping comfortably in their beds and not weighted down with rocks at the bottom of the ocean. That’s something, but is it enough? They agreed to this trip but they never agreed to this. Had he been selfish to ask them to come with him? The guilt that weighs him down says he was.

Fjord is tired, and he’s had some wine, and he almost died today and Avantika is looking at him intently and with no small amount of passion. He tells himself that he is playing a part, because he is, and that he’s only thinking about sleeping with her to gain more of her trust, which will ultimately benefit himself and the party, and that’s mostly the truth.

When he leans in, when she kisses him, all tongue and teeth like she wants to devour him, Fjord sighs in relief. When she gets up from behind the desk and pushes him back onto the bed, something in his mind relaxes even as the rest of him tenses.

“Have you ever been with a woman before?” Avantika asks, her hands splayed on his chest as she straddles him.

Fjord doesn’t answer, but something in his expression or his eyes must tell her what she wants to know, because she chuckles softly.

“Do not worry,” Avantika purrs as she efficiently strips him of his shirt and tosses it aside. “I will teach you what you need to know to please me.”

“Just don’t leave any marks where—ahh— my crew might see.”

“I don’t think it’s your crew you’re worried about. At least, not _all_ of them.” Avantika rakes her nails down Fjord’s chest and he arches up into the sting with a hiss. He refuses to think of Jester during this, won’t allow himself to drag her between himself and the captain. Jester deserves better than that. She deserves so much better.

Avantika is an education and a tempest. She takes and takes and _takes_ and it’s all Fjord can do to keep up with her, to keep his accent from slipping as she makes him cry out. She’s using him for her pleasure and for her own ends, but he’s using her too. For a little while he doesn’t have to be the leader or the captain, doesn’t have to decide anything. She’s the one making the decisions, and all he has to do is make sure that she doesn’t take more than he is willing to give.

By the time Fjord walks back to the room he shares with Caduceus, he can barely see straight for how tired he is. His whole body aches, but at least his mind is quiet as he treads almost silently across the room and crawls into bed.

Caduceus’s ear twitches, one pink eye cracking open, entirely too perceptive for someone who has just woken up. Fjord gives a very strained smile as he pulls the blankets up to his chin.

“Sleep well with your bad decisions,” Caduceus says before closing his eyes again.

Fjord doesn’t flinch, because yeah, maybe he deserves that. He closes his eyes and thinks back to a sky filled with stars, about having a conversation with Yasha that woke up Jester, about deciding the three of them should go for a walk so as not to wake the others…

Fjord has to sleep well with his bad decisions. Otherwise he would never sleep at all.

**Author's Note:**

> Fic title is from the lyrics to "Until The Wolves Come Out" by Nathan Sharp (NateWantsToBattle) and it seemed fitting given the circumstances. 
> 
> I'm angel-ascending over on Tumblr if y'all want to stop by and say hi!


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